A major study in 2008 reports that American employees spent 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict, amounting to approximately $359 billion in paid hours. Think of what could be saved in money, time, and stress if we learned how to effectively deal with conflict and talk through disagreements and problems.

Many find it easy to avoid tough conversations or worse, gossip about a problem with those not involved and unable to contribute to the solution. Others simply “let sleeping dogs lie,” hoping the problem will disappear with time. (Most dogs I know eventually wake up and bite!) Like the car with a noise that intensifies over time, so a problem gets worse, not better. Fix it early on and you potentially save yourself a heap in terms of money, time, and stress.

So why don't more leaders and managers have the tough, though needed conversations with their employees that make for a better company culture? First, many leaders are unaware how negative behaviors and attitudes have an overall effect on the company environment. Second, many fear to cause offense. They want to be liked, failing to realize that being liked is never the right goal. Rather, its the mission of the organization and respect for everyone involved in achieving that mission. When leaders focus on organizational goals without partiality to any employees they often end up being both liked and respected. But letting things slide and failing to address relational dysfunction yields disrespect for leadership. The mission gets lost and the environment turns toxic.

In my next few posts, I’ll discuss some practical tips on having tough but needed conversations. Consider this yet as context for all difficult conversations. Almost no one wakes up and thinks how they can create an epic problem or wreak havoc on relationships. Most of us make “honest” mistakes rather than intentional blunders. So reframe problems as mistakes. Believe that mistakes that became habits can be broken. And ultimately, realize that a person’s mistakes can also become stepping stones toward success if worked through properly. Character development and higher levels of relationship are always a possibility. May that give you the needed energy to go out there and have more tough conversations.